And Yes, I  fall but you failed EP 2

And Yes, I  fall but you failed
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Dad, I received a mail from a college for the admission in the same. Father didn’t reply, my face was full of burden and frustration. That was not because I was not able to score good marks in joint entrance exam after preparing in so-called educational hub Kota for three years.Burden lines can be clearly seen on my face because of that self-frustration, demotivation and that heavy depression which was then on the top.Because at that time when I was leaving from Kota I thought that I had ruined my life, I had lost my golden chance to study engineering from a well-recognised college. It didn’t mean that I had not studied, or I had done something other than studies, I had done hard work par with my capabilities. I studied for 15 hrs. But I think there was a lack of hard work, something more needed to crack the exam and that’s why I failed.  But the most disturbing thing was that I started doubting myself, I had lost faith in myself, lost the confidence that was my real power before going to that educational hub. That person who knows all the things was only and only me.The feeling was like- I had done a serious crime and no one knows it. But now I am feeling bad for that crime which I didn’t commit willingly.Now it’s afternoon, we were having our launch. I had no wish to take the launch but mom came back to me as always. The problem was at this time when I was passing through heavy mental disorders. It was like if I started watching something then for around 1hr I was continuously still watching it with a blank mind. But there was someone in my home who was understanding my pain without saying, yes, of course, she is not a highly educated person or a doctor but my mom. She is a simple villager lady, but still, she was getting all of the things which were happening inside my heart.I was eating Aloo Paratha a favourite dish of mine when my father asked me by  making his face deliberately angry  “what were you saying at morning” ,I was about to take the bite of that last piece of aloo paratha , I put it down, and went into silent mode ,Then he again asked “Ramji I am asking you something “.I was a little bit angry with my father because of that morning when I had told him about this and he didn’t respond.I opened my mouth. A bit of anger can be seen on my face that time.With little bit arrogant,  I replied “I didn’t want to do anything “I am useless “why you people invested on that horse which was not capable to win in the race. My eyes were the little bit wet and now I didn’t have control over my tears.The tears were dropping from cheers slowly to earth by crossing that launch plates from which I was eating just before a minute. My Father who was sitting in front of me started laughing.Said Ramji Come on you are not a child-man. You are weeping like a 5yrs old baby, I was going to reply some but when I took my head up, there was something in father’s eyes, oh no he was weeping… what ?it is impossible !! I was thinking that a person who always stood straight on those milestone problems is now weeping, actually, he was laughing just to hide his tears which were generated after seeing my tears, that was the day. From that day,  I asked myself a question  “will I able to be like my father“.Next moment he stands up and made me stand up and took me to his arm and said “Ramji no matter how much I had invested on that coaching of JEE and I don’t care about that. Either you are selected or not but my dear son my real power was, is and will be you. I am proud of you that you are my son and you are born to be great ,and I believe you will definitely achieve at that place of success where I can’t even imagine,don’t think you are useless and don’t feel bad “All the things are happening to you just for the sake of goodness of yourself ” and remember this no matter how much I am angry with you I am and will be proud of you and you are priceless man.
Tears rolled down on the shirts, then we moved on to the room, took deep breaths, and father asked me so what’s the plan. I started telling him that I got a college in Jaipur Rajasthan. So,  father’s first questions were what is the name of the college?

Read  And Yes, I fall but you failed EP 1  by clicking this link 

Ramkinkar das Tripathi 

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* Special thanks to my friend Shubhali Raj for editing this story and removing my grammatical errors from this post.

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And Yes, I  fall but you failed EP 1

Do you think I should write this? Right now I am fighting with myself to write this….No, you shouldn’t, my instinct warned me.

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Are you Completely out of the mind !! No, hold on. The actual message was… Are you Completely out of your mind !! Yes, this message just popped on my WhatsApp screen.The situation was already tensed but this made my eyes to flow in full velocity of light because the heart was already crying before this.You know the problem  with you Ram is that you are a f***ing emotional fool. My instinct gave me a befitting reply when I was trying to console myself and expecting same from my instinct to support me emotionally. But Is she right ?? A Question popped this time in my mind. I centred my eyes on that dark room’s fan which is merely visible but don’t know how am I able to count all those blades at this time which is running around 300 rotations in one minute.I was thinking that I have been given supernatural powers by the god. I mean how can I see a fan blade so clearly like when the fan is stopped. Instinct arose from the dark silence and said you have become the mad man. Just stop this bullshit love, Lesage . Hey, don’t interrupt me when I am thinking about…I replied this time to my instinct with a deep voice.I was again trying to console myself that this Instinct has become mad, he is not liking that I will get closer to anyone but again the same question popped …Is she right? I mean ever I had done or tried anything which can certify her statement which was like you are trying to do something. No! I gave this answer to myself like a teacher had mistakenly pointed out the wrong student for that mistakes which he had not committed yet.So why she said like that, She can’t be wrong, this time my instinct wasn’t able to shut her mouth. Murmured yes, she is always right and you are always wrong . Ignore this fool what did he know about love, I was murmuring to console myself but this time Instinct shouted on me Yeh I am a fool and you are an excellent man!! Remember that afternoon when you were sitting in the lab of Mechatronics (a typical engineering subject) with her and during the conversation you had replied her that you will leave your lovely job in case she will get that job. And you are slamming me for that person who questioned on your character, integrity whom you didn’t love for her beauty, intelligence, you only loved her soul. The answer of that question which I was searching was so clear, but I didn’t like that instinct will win over me so I said can you please keep quiet for some moment.. leave me alone.I was trying to overcome with my instinct but inside the heart, i was knowing the fact that today I was looser in the eyes of both.One was that person who asked that question. No, why say *person * ??Are you afraid to take her name, instinct poked me, No I can name that person, sorry I mean that I can take her name but why should I tell you the name of that person whom I loved, I was replying with some embarrassment.What is happening to me ..?where is that fan which I was able to see clearly..? where is that dark room, I was surprised but there is someone at my door, Oh !! I picked my phone and tried to check the time oh! it’s 8:00 clock. My warden was on the door.I was surprised that is this dream or that was a dream.But this was clear when my warden shouted.”  Are you not going to college today also “. Actually at 8:00 clock my college time begins.

Ramkinkar das Tripathi 

Read  And Yes, I  fall but you failed EP 2  by clicking on this link   

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* Special thanks to my friend Shubhali Raj for editing this story and removing my grammatical errors from this post.

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Love or lust !!

Sometimes If you love limitlessly to anyone they may take it as lust Presenting the Pain of being judged and labeled what someone is not actually…………

Love or lust
let me tell you first
life was soo tiny
i think i was wasting it on winy

Suddenly i met you
Something happened deep inside my heart
Hold on! Hold on! let me tell you from the start
Neither it was lust nor it was crush
I only and only do pure & pious love
I was counting some of  the stars
Moonlight was falling on my face apart
Yet! yet! yet! first time in my life
Beauty of Petrichor was added in my heart

Suddenly i got a message !
it stopped me to reply
it forced my heart beat to amplyfy
My insinct was laughing on me
Saying dont you think this is presage
Asking me, is this your so called love lesage?

I am not an ideal,
i too have feelings
I have emotion
my heart beat was feeling vibration

Dont wory i had i have courage

To listen and dont reply 

You keep saying it lust

because it gives me a beautiful smile

But, I think, I will finally earn your trust.

– Ramkinkar das Tripathi

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Vedio LOVE POEM |नशा तब का चढ़ा था जो ,अभी तक न उतर पाया |


यूँ आप मानती कँहा है हमारी बात ,
यूँ आप जानती कँहा है हमारे दिल के जज्बात ,

हम तो आप की यादो में रात रात भर नही सोते है ,
दिल को समझाते है  ,
फिर भी आपकी यादो में खो जाते है।।


मै न दरिया हूँ न समंदर हूँ ,
न सूरज हूँ न अम्बर हूँ ,

ए ज़माने तूने कहा मुझे जुगनूं ,
मेरे यार ने कहा जुगनूं ,
तो मै जुगनूं भी सुन्दर हूँ ।।


कुछ तो बात जरूर जरूर है तुझमे  ,
कुछ तो खास जरूर जरूर है तुझमे ,

वर्ना जो राम किसी लड़की को 
बहन के सिवा कुछ कहता नही  ,
तेरे लिए ये नगमे ये प्यार के शेर पढ़ता नही ।।


मयखाने गया मै तो नशा बिलकुल न चढ़ पाया  ,
देखा है जब से तुझको नशा भरपूर है छाया ,

तूने मुड-मुड़ के देखता तो जो उन क्लासों में मुझको तो  ,
नशा तब का चढ़ा था जो ,अभी तक न उतर पाया  ।।

-Ramkinkar Das Tripathi





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सीख रहा हूँ !…..

Sometimes I write Poem just for no reason but for expressing my experience, feeling this poem is also one of them ………

Life is Fight of oneself with oneself Be ready !! Be prepared !!
सीख रहा हूँ ,
मैं भी अब जिंदगी के उसूलो को
कुछ हँसना कुछ औरो को हँसाना ,
सीख रहा हूँ ,
पहचानना भी अब जिंदगी के रसूलो को
रोते हुए भी अपने को हँसते दिखाना ,
सीख रहा हूँ
बड़ी आसानी से खुद को खुदी से चुराना ,
बड़ी बेराह सी जिंदगी हो गयी है यारो ,
जाने ! क्यों किस लिए इतना भाग रहा हूँ ,
न जाने क्या खोना क्या पाना चाह रहा हूँ,
सीख रहा हूँ
माँ बाप से बड़ी आसानी से झूँठ बोल जाना ,
तरक्की के भ्रम में माँ बाप से दूर हो जाना,
सीख रहा हूँ
की बचपन ही काफी अच्छा था ,
जीवन काफी अच्छा था जब तक मैं बच्चा था,
सीख रहा हूँ
उन रिस्तो की अहमियत जो मिसाल थे ,
आज की तरह नही फसे थे इतने जाल में,
आज की तरह कभी नही फसे थे जाल से ,
सीख रहा हूँ
माँ की समता को,
निर्मल ,पवन सी उसकी सरस ममता को ,
उस ममता को जाने क्यों मैं तौलने लगा ,
जिंदगी में आधुनिकता क्या आई ,
न जाने क्यो उस ममता को भूलने लगा |
सीख रहा हूँ
सीखता हूँ तो और सिखाती है जिंदगी ,
लड़ता हूँ तो
और आगे ले के जाती है जिंदगी,
बेसक हारता हूँ हर बार मैं
इस जंग में जिंदगी से ,
पर हर हार में ,
कुछ न कुछ नया सिखाती है जिंदगी ।।

– Ramkinkar das tripathi

यादों के झारोंखे से अाज का सुनहरा यादगार दिन

यादों के झारोंखे से अाज का सुनहरा यादगार दिन

मैंने शेर पढ़ा बहुतो ने सुना सब ने दाद दी ,
   तेरी मुख से वाह आती तो बात कुछ और थी ,


बात कँहा से प्रारंभ करूँ पता ही नही चल  रहा है मेरा साहित्यिक सफ़र ये बताता है की ऐसी परस्थितियाँ तभी आती है जब या तो आप काफी खुश हो याँ फिर काफी उदास हो खेर पहली वाली परस्थिति की बात करना उतनी प्रासंगिक न होगी जितनी की दूसरी और अगर आपके पास मेरे जैसे चिर महान उदारता और सागर के सामान कमीने दोस्त हो तो फिर दूसरी वाली परस्थिति भी अपने आप ही पहले वाली में परिवर्तिति हो जाती है ।खेर आज का दिन मेरे लिए एक महान दिन था क्योकि आज ही के दिन से मैंने इस संसार में अपनी माँ के प्रथम दृस्तिपात किया जिस माँ ने अपना जीवन को अर्पित कर दिया मेरे लिए नूतन सवेरे के लिए आज इस समय मै कंही न कंही उन्हें याद करके मेरा अंतर्मन रो सा पड़ा था।।क्यकी वो माँ आज भी इतने दूर होने पर भी मेरे उन्नति के लिए उसी तरह पंडितो के द्वारो पूजा करवा रही थी जैसा की जब मै होता हूँ ।।पर इन रोते हुए मन को उन्मुक्त और खुशियों की तरफ ले जाना का काम मेरे उन्ही सागर के सामान कमीने दोस्तों ने किया जो आज इस दिन को मेरे लिए ऐसा यादगार पल बनाया जो मेरे जिंदगी के कुछ सुनहरे पलो में से एक सा हो गया ।हालाँकि इसकी शुरुआत  मध्य रात से ही हो गयी थी जब मेरे दोस्त मुझे काफी दूर से आने लगे हालाँकि वो बात अलग थी की मार काफ़ी पड़ी और उसका दर्द अभी भी है क्योंकि हम इंजीनियर अगर सब की तरह वही cakes काट कर मोमबत्तियां बुझा दे तो फिर हम में और आम इंसानो के जन्मदिन मानाने में फ़र्क़ की क्या होगा आखिर हम इस दुनियाँ में सभी अविष्कारों के जन्मदाता है सो हमने अपने जन्मदिन मानाने एक अपना और सबसे अलग तरीका निकाल लिया और वो है जिस किसी भी मासूम बालक का जन्मदिन होता है उसको अपने जन्मदिन से ख़ुशी कम और दुःख जादा होता है क्योकि जिसका भी जन्मदिन होता है उसे मध्यरात्रि में अशंख्य और अनगिनत ब्रांडेड चप्पल ,जूतो और थप्पड़ों का बड़ी ही मासूमियत के साथ सहना पड़ता है लेकिन ये फिर एक ऐसी याद बनती है जिसका मैं क्या कोई भी इसे शब्दों से नही बता सकता ।सोशल मीडिया में काफी मित्रो की शुभकामनाओ ने मन को काफी प्रफुल्लित किया लेकिन दोस्त तो दोस्त ही होते है………




कमीनो ने आज के दिन भी नही छोड़ा।।मुझे काफी दोस्तों के कॉल्स आये और काफी ऐसे दोस्तों के कॉल्स भी आये जो की बिलकुल ही unexpected थे और येही छोटी छोटी खुशियो ने मिलकर इस दिन को एक सुनहरा पल बना दिया ।।




हालाँकि मैं अपने आप को औरो से  जादा न सही बस 10-20 gram जादा बुद्धिमान तो समझता ही हूँ पर हुआ कुछ उल्टा ही शाम के समय मेरा एक काफी मासूम सा दोस्त जिस कमीने को हम बड़े ही प्यार से सिगनल कहते है मेरे रूम में दस्तक दिए मै सो ही रहा था ।।मै भी तोड़ा जागृत ही हुआ था की भाई जी ने बड़े ही प्यार से बोला ”भाई वरुन का काल आया था बोला की राम को ले के आ जा नीचे” मैं उस समय नींद में ही था मैंने कहा हाँ चलता हूँ बस फिर face wash ही हुआ था की भाई जी ने फिर कहा यार जल्दी चल यार ,मैंने पूंछ किस लिया है तो भाई जी ऐसे ही यार (अच्छा बाद में पता चला तो मुझे लगा की की इतनी अच्छी एक्टिंग के लिए इसे ऑस्कर मिलना चाहिए )

सामान्यतः हमारी वरुन और सिगनल की डिबेट या कई सारी बाते शेयर होती रहती है सो मैंने सोचा ऐसे ही कुछ होगा और मौसम भी काफी अच्छा तो जादा मैंने पुंछ ही नही और पूंछता भी कैसे उसी समय मैं एक कॉल में व्यस्त हो गया
भाई जी : लगातार काल्स पर कॉल कर रहे थे और पूंछ रहे थे की कँहा हो
मैंने सोचा भाई जी वरुन से बात कर रहे होंगे लेकिन एक मिनट रुकिए !!

शॉप के फर्स्ट फ्लोर में मुझे क्यों ले जा रहा है ये सिगनल मैं ये समझता की इससे पहले ही मुझे कुछ लोग नजर आ गए बड़े ही खूंखार,डरावने और कमीने,
मै थोडा सा सहम सा गया लग रहा था ये कोई ग्रुप था हाँ जिसमे तीन से चार लड़कियाँ और ऐसे ही कुछ लड़के थे ,अरे हाँ सायद मै इनका नाम भी जानता हूँ


अरे हाँ ये तो  भारती ,शीतल ,तनवी ,तौसिफ और सूरज है।।


और हाँ मास्टरमाइंड रवि जी है मैं अभी ये सोच ही रहा था की HAPPY B’DAY TO YOU RAM की आवाज़ ने मुझे नींद से उठा दिया ।।और कुछ इस तरह से सिगनल पूरा ही नाम बता देता हूँ सो शुभम सिंगल ने और कुछ इस तरह से इन सभी के साथ मिलकर मेरे इस 10-20gram औरो से जादा बुद्धिमानता वाली बात को गलत साबित कर दिया ।।और कुछ इस तरह से ये दिन मेरे लिए एक यादगार बना दिया ।।

आगे भी काफी कुछ हुआ और बहुत कुछ होना अभी बाकि है जैसे की मुझे पार्टी देनी है….लेकिन इस ख़ुशी ,इस प्यार,इस लगाव के लिए दिल से धन्यवाद देना चाहता हूँ सभी को जिन्होंने एक छोटे से दिन को मेरे लिए सुनहरे पल में तब्दील कर दिया ।।


Someone asked me why do I love her replied…… Generously and smilingly that …


I love you because of your humbleness ,

I love your behaviour of nimbleness ,

When I read Your name anywhere I feel prickling ,

When I See you my eyes become lighting twinkle ,

When I Chat with you all my sorrows become winkle ,

When I am in deep crinkle ,

Also in great depression ,

And in the deepest difficulty ,

At that time when i had become a mad ,

And going to cause a causality ,

You are always there for me With your inkling suggestion

You forced me to get back to right path

You told me to forget all the things

And begin-begin a new start.

You taught me that there is never too late

And don’t let another you To-let ,

Tell me One reason ! Why shouldn’t i love you ,

Is this not enough for you thatswhy I Love You .

Tried First time to write a Poem in another language from my native language you suggestions are indeed .

Ramkinkar das Tripathi

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